I really like this blogging stuff. It gives me an opportunity to explain various thoughts and decisions that revolve around how things are handled at the center. A question came up the other day regarding boys grappling with girls. I just happened to be by the phone during class time when I received a call from a parent that had a concern for another parent. As you know we have increased the grappling portion of our program to be part of our weekly training. This in itself has increased an existing problem, trying to do more in less time. But that’s a blog for another time. While grappling, the students are, at times, in compromising positions on the floor. This parent mentioned that during the previous week we had a boy and girl grapple together and that the girl’s mom looked very uncomfortable watching. The parent, who was very gracious and polite, was wondering if it was a good idea having the boys and girls grapple together. This is an example of the many types of situations I face operating a martial art school. One problem is knowing what is acceptable in today’s world. As I get older, which I am not very happy with, I sometimes can’t tell. A good example is the words we use. When we are talking about rear- ends, I like using the word rear-end, not butt. I find this word offensive. But that word seems to be acceptable in today’s culture. I don’t want to become an old fuddy-duddy like my old sensei (teacher). [Sensei, I’m just kidding of course.]

So, is it acceptable for boys and girls to grapple together in a martial arts class? It is, but to be honest, it’s a little uncomfortable for me. So I try to have the boys and girls train separately. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out that way all the time. Sometimes we have odd numbers. So rather than having two kids, a boy and a girl, stand around watching, I’ll have them work together. This is a martial arts class. My job is to teach these students self-defense. In this area there is probably more concern for the girls than for the boys. Girls are more likely to get attacked by boys than by girls. What better way to train a girl to defend herself than to train with boys. If a girl is squeamish about being touched by a boy, that needs to be addressed. That could cause a girl a problem in a real self defense situation. I also understand that it may be uncomfortable for the boys grappling with the girls. I clearly remember what I thought of girls as a kid. I was terrorized of them. Maybe training like this would have helped in that area. Anyway, this is an innocent situation. If we act otherwise, then we create a problem.

So what is the answer to this dilemma? First, I need to explain the situation with all its different viewpoints and thoughts to the students and the parents (this blog). Next, leave it up to the student or parent on how they would want it handled for themselves or their child. Last, it should be dealt with it on a case by case basis. So parents, if you have a problem with your child grappling with the other gender, let me know. It’s not a problem.

In closing, if you have a thought or question on this or any other topic, send it to me at rhughes@smacus.com. Until then, the blog saga will continue.

Signing off,

Ray Hughes

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