Sensei Ray's Blog

This topic is one most Senseis do not want to discuss.  Matter of fact, the old traditional philosophy is it is considered rude and improper to ever question the Sensei.  Many instructors still hold this viewpoint today.  Though I am a traditionalist, this is one area that I break from tradition.  My philosophy is that communication is the secret for success and happiness.  Now this isn’t to say I want every possible nitpicky complaint brought up to me and discussed.  We all know we have to live in this world with a certain amount of tolerance.  However, if there is an important topic that is bothering a student or parent, I want them to get a hold of me and discuss it.

The question you may ask yourself is this big enough of a problem that needs to be discussed with the Sensei and if it is how do I bring it up for discussion?  This is actually an important question.  If sensitive issues are not handled properly, the best outcome may not come to fruition.

First, what is an important topic?  Obviously this varies from person to person.  So let me take you through the thought process I use to determine if I have an issue that needs to be discussed with my Sensei.  Actually, I need to use another person because my Sensei is always right, but if someone else says or does something that causes me to be upset, I quickly go through the following set of questions.   First, could I have misunderstood what was said or have misinterpreted the situation?  I actually answer yes to this question most of the time, so I blow off the issue.  If not, I ask myself if maybe the person misspoke, is having a bad day, or is this a  big enough issue that needs to be dealt with?  Most times it’s not.  In addition to all of these questions, I remind myself of the philosophy I try to live by, “pick your battles”.  This philosophy alone solves many of my concerns on how I should handle situations.  But the number one thing that helps me determine if I should discuss an issue with someone is if it bothers me for several days. If it does, I make arraignments to discuss the issue. I also have a another rule that I try to live by; if something makes me angry, wait three days before saying anything.  I have proven to myself many times over that if I don’t do this, I really blow it.  If I wait, I generally do a good job solving the issue in a positive way.

So if you come to the point where you need to speak to me about a sensitive issue, I ask you to handle it in the following manner.  But, before I go on I must admit that I have a character defect of being defensive about the program.  I hate it, but it’s a fact. I put my heart and soul into this program and I can get a little defensive.  I occasionally have parents act surprised when I mention this.   I say the feeling would probably be the same you would feel if a person came up to you and said you weren’t doing a very good job raising your child.  Most parents nod and say they understand.   So if you have a sensitive issue that needs to be discussed with me, just give me a heads up.  I don’t do well when I am blindsided.  Just inform Tyler of the situation and have him set up a time for us to get together to discuss it. Or you can e-mail me and let me know a little bit about the situation and that you would like to set up an appointment.  When issues are handled this way it comes out 99.9 % great.

Are there areas that are considered inappropriate to ask about?  Yes. Generally anything that revolves around belt rank.  Questioning why your rank or your child’s rank is not high enough is improper. Or if you are questioning your rank or your child’s rank compared to another student’s rank.  You just have to have faith in my judgment.   However, mistakes are made. If you feel there has been a mistake or you’re just confused on a rank situation, e-mail me and let’s discuss it.  Inner piece is very important.

In closing, if an issue has caused you to have that uncomfortable feeling that lasts several days, come and see me.  If I have it with you, I’ll come and see you.  Sound like a deal?

Until the next blog, the saga will continue…….

Ray Hughes

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I am asked from time to time how I exactly teach discipline to students.  This question is primarily asked about kids, but the system is the same for adults.  I just have to disguise and deliver it differently.  Remember, adults are just big kids.  So the following is one of many techniques that I use to teach discipline to kids (wink, wink).  I could write a book on this topic alone, but I will try to keep it brief and to the point.

Before I start teaching discipline, I need to develop a rapport with the student.   I have found that humor is the best tool for doing this. Of course this needs to come from the heart.   Next, I know I need to pick my battles.   Every child is different, so the battles vary.  This sometimes causes confusion with some parents of the program.  Things do not always appear equal or even.  However, the majority of parents understands what I am doing and completely supports my method.

As this process is developing, I start prepping the student on what is expected.  I keep the expectations low at the beginning so not to overwhelm the student.  I understand that kids learn at different rates and this varies dramatically with age, gender, and mental maturity.  As the student starts moving up the ranks, whether it’s a stripe or even a color belt change, expectations are increased.  Also, the reprimands are increased.  It’s this area of developing discipline that is the secret.  How do you reprimand a student that has fallen short of the expectations?  How do you deliver it so that they receive it in a positive way, empowering them while not demeaning them, do it in a way that they get the point and want to learn from the experience, and understand that these falters are a human development issue and that we all go thru it?  While doing all of this, trying to teach the rest of the students in the class on how to learn from this student’s experience in a non-judgmental way and to apply this knowledge to themselves.

The following is my technique in doing this. I also teach my instructors to use this technique.

I start off by letting the student know of the expectations that will come with the next level.   The student knows that as the expectations go up, the harder I will be on them if they fall short.  I let them know that they may not want to go to the next level because it maybe too difficult for them (a little reverse psychology).   As I am delivering this information to the student, I am doing it with a slight sense of humor.  A universal rule that I learned is that whether you are a kid or not, no one wants to be told anything.  So this information is passed on to them in a matter of fact delivery, not in a threatening or a shoving it down their throat manner.  I do however add a brief seriousness to the discussion to make sure they get the point.  I go on to say that it is up to them to go forward or not, but these are the expectations.  Of course they respond by saying they are tough and can handle it. They have agreed to the terms.  This is where I bring in some philosophy.  I teach them the very important philosophical concept, “be careful of what you wish for”.

Now here comes the fun part.  It’s inevitable that after the student moves to the next level there will be a slip in discipline.  It could be a behavior issue, motivational issue, or an outright wrong.  I jump on it immediately in front of the class.  Depending on the level of the student, my intensity will vary. But whatever the level, it will seem very intense.  While explaining the mistake that was made and expressing my disappointment, the child will probably be in a slight state of shock.   I remind the student that they chose to go to this level and that they understood the consequences.  During this moment of explanation I am covertly watching the student.   I want to make sure I don’t go too far but I want to push the student to the edge.  After I make my point, which is generally pretty quick and I know the student is on the emotional edge, I turn my attention to the other kids in the class.  I tell them that this is what happens at this higher level.  I go on to say that you have to be a strong kid to be this rank, such as this student.  This statement starts the empowering process for the kid that is being disciplined.  I mention to the lower rank kids that they probably could not have handled this and would have probably cried and call 911. Notice that I use humorous wording but my tone is somewhat serious.  Of course the kids say they could have handled it and I reply “yeah right”.   By this time things are pretty light.  While this discussion is going on, the disciplined child’s status is being elevated.   I then turn back to the kid I was disciplining and say though I am not happy with the situation I am however impressed with their strength dealing with this adversity.   This comes from my heart and the kid knows it.  At this time I start talking to the class philosophically that dealing with adversities is an ongoing universal problem.  I give some ideas on dealing with adversities in general and how to handle them when things go wrong.  I let them know that standing tall and dealing with it straight up is so much better than falling down crying and calling 911, such as the strength that this student has demonstrated.  The use of humor allows me to make the point while taking the spot light off of the student that was being disciplined. This also empowers the student.  While I am talking to the class, you can see the disciplined child stand a little taller, chest out a little more and generally feels better about himself.  A negative situation now has become a positive situation for both the kid and the class.  And yet the main issue was not lost.

So what happened in that last scenario?  First,  I called a kid out on a behavior mistake, pointed out the mistake, used the situation to prep the other students in the class about the expectations of their upcoming level,  empowered the kid in front of his or her peer group,  showed I was not happy with the behavior but I respected the kid and  was impressed with the way he handled the adverse condition, and was able to show the whole class on how to work and deal with difficult issues by using a real situation and topic and not a fictitious one. No one learns by theory, they learn by reality.

This process intensifies as they go up the ranks. But the students are always made aware of what is expected at the next level.  This process of developing discipline within a student takes time.  It takes years.  When the student experiences this scenario over and over as they mature in age, they begin to learn to apply the principles of discipline to themselves.  It is these skills that allow the student to successfully deal with the outside world.  In other words, they are shown “how to manage chaos”. This process cannot be shortened. You can see why I have a problem with schools that give black belts to very young kids.  Of course this brings up the topic of what is a black belt, but that is a topic for another blog.

Until the next blog, the saga will continue.

Ray Hughes

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In addition to self defense, the majority of parents put their children into karate to learn what I call life skills; discipline, focus, emotional control, persistence, dedication, leadership skills, communication skills, and so on.  As adults, we know by experience the importance of having these skills when dealing with the real world. These skills are absolutely necessary to be successful in life.  I take this part of my job very seriously.

I have learned during my years of teaching that students learn better when life skills are discussed while experiencing a real situation. Students do not learn well when you talk theoretically about life issues. You have noticed me many times jumping on situations that occur in class and discussing it openly in front of all the students on how to best deal with it.  I give the students ideas on how to possibly avoid or how to deal with these issues.  As a student proceeds from white belt to black belt the student experiences almost every possible emotional situation.  As the student faces these experiences they are coached and given skills that help them deal with them in a positive and productive way.

One of the most important life skills that are taught in karate is learning to deal with fluctuating motivation.  As the child trains in karate they experience the motivational roller coaster. We adults understand the importance of this skill because we deal with it in many areas of our lives on a daily basis. I teach students how to work through motivational highs and lows by first letting them know that these obstacles are coming. I tell them that everyone experiences this problem and must know how to work through it. I give them thoughts and ideas that will help them deal with this upcoming problem.  But at this point, this is just theory to the students.  As I have said before, no one learns by theory, you learn by experiencing. Then as the student starts to experience this situation, I remind them first that they were made aware of this upcoming dilemma and them I give them concepts on how to deal with it. One of the most important skills that we adults have learned and understand is developing the ability to grind through tough times.  A young person has a hard time learning these skills without being coached while they are experiencing these low points of motivation. After the student gets through these periods I review the situation and reinforce the successful strategies.  It takes a student several of these situations to develop the skills to successfully learn the ability to grind through low motivational periods.

So how do you grind through difficult situations? I was originally taught by my parents and coaches that you give it 110% or don’t do it at all. I guessed it worked, but I’m not so sure. I may have quit things in the past because I lost motivation and I didn’t want to give it a 110% at the time, I just don’t remember (old age). The point is I don’t believe in this philosophy.  Routine is more important than giving it a 110% during low motivational times. There are times I am not motivated to go to the gym. Sometimes this lasts many months at a time. If I don’t go at all, I become weak and get out of shape. It becomes almost impossible to get back to training. We adults see this type of situation happen all the time.  I have experimented with this (humor statement). If however I continue to keep going during this low motivational time and just half heartily go through the training, I of course don’t get better  but I also don’t regress much either.  Then when that motivated moment comes I instantly start seeing improvement. I have not learned how to summon that motivated moment on command yet, but when it comes I’m ready. Instead of taking months to get back to where I was before I quite training, which in itself is extremely disheartening, I see instant improvement.

I see this situation play out over and over in the dojo. I have seen students of all ages take breaks with the intent of coming back soon and I have seen students go through low motivational periods with half hearted efforts. The students that take breaks almost never get back. Or if they do, they are so disappointed that everyone in their class has moved ahead of them that they give up and quit. As far as the students that grind through, they are pumped when the motivational point comes back. They are off and flying, hardly missing a beat.

There are two low motivational periods during the year. The first one is the period going into the summer and second, you guessed it, the period going into the year end holidays. The reasons are obvious, their minds are not on martial arts because they are looking forward to the break in the school routine, the weather change affects them, and generally their minds are all over the place. After the summer and holiday break, within a week or two, the kids get refocused and are motivationally locked back into their training.

Here is the Parent’s burden.  What does a parent do when their child starts asking to take a break or even asking to quit during these periods?  Parents know that discipline and dedication are developed by grinding through these low periods. They want their kids to learn that changing directions every time they get bored or loose motivation that this develops a horrible habit and can lead to unsuccessful lives. However, the parent does not want to force their child to do something that they really do not want to do.  This does not teach a child anything.  And to add to this, the grind of dealing with a complaining kid and the effort of getting them to the school also become very difficult. So how does a parent know what to do?

Here are some ideas that may help.  First, recognize the time of the year. This will answer a lot of questions.  Second, how is your kid acting in class?  If they seem emotionally down for several weeks at a time, they need a break.  Don’t worry; I most likely will bring it up to you first. If however they are having fun in class, then they are simply moving through a low motivational period and are just whining on the way to class. Remember, I have been through this a million times over the past three decades.  You may have noticed that my teaching techniques change during these times of the year. I lighten up a bit and do a few more games in class. These times are difficult, so I make it more fun during this time because I know that keeping the student’s routine is the highest priority.  I know the routine is the secret of success.  Missing random classes or taking a short vacation is not a problem for the student.  The key here is keeping their overall routine. Yes their martial arts growth slows down, but when the summer and holiday period is over their skills start instantly growing versus having to take a period of time to get back to where they were before the break.

In conclusion, routine is the secret to success. This is what needs to be taught to the student. The difficult part is being able to tell if your kid is simply going through a temporary low motivational point or has genuinely lost interest in martial arts training. So my suggestion is when you are experiencing this situation is that you come in and ask talk to me.  I will give you my honest opinion.  Some parents might think that I will tell them they should keep their child in for my financial reasons. Trust me; my personal sanity comes before my financial stability. Nothing drives me crazier than having a student there that does not want to be there. Those of you who have known me for any length of time can attest to this.

I hope this information helps in some small way. Please do not hesitate to give input back to me on this or any other matter. rhughes@smacus.com

The saga continues…… signing off.

Ray Hughes

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I am asked this question on a regular basis. Most instructors of all arts believe that students should compete. There are some however who believe they are of little value and talk negatively about them. These instructors will say that because the competitions are held in controlled environments with limitations of lethal techniques that they are nothing like real self-defense. They also say the actual combat itself is nothing like a self defense situation. They go further to add that competition is an ego driven event which goes against the philosophy of the martial arts while being surrounding by people that are egotistical, arrogant, narcissistic, condescending, and generally have lost their way in the martial arts world. Also, in addition to outright bias, there is so much subjectivity in the judging that the real champions don’t always win. So how do I feel about tournament competition? I actually agree with most of what is said by the instructors who are against competition. However, I strongly believe that all students should participate in a few competitions per year. The number one reason that most people enroll themselves or their children in martial arts is to develop the ability to defend themselves. So I take that very seriously. I do everything I can in the class to prepare my students for the possibility that someday they may need to defend themselves in a life and death situation. The one thing I can’t do in a regular class is put them in real self defense situations, only staged ones. I am unable to bring out the stress, anxiety, fear, adrenalin pumping through their system, narrowing of vision, chaos, shortness of breath, fatigue, and other extreme emotions that one experiences in a real self defense situation. The students psychologically know that everything in the class is controlled and there is little or no danger. No matter what I say, I cannot bring these emotions out while we train. Training without experiencing these emotions is weak at best. The closest we get to these emotions in the school are at belt exams. But even these emotions are different than what you experience when someone is trying to hurt or kill you. So the only thing we can offer that gets close to real combat without actually being in combat is tournament competition. The uncertainty in this situation brings out the emotions I mentioned earlier. Even though the student understands that this is somewhat of a controlled situation, they still know there is some physical risk. The student doesn’t know who they are going to meet, what the opponent is going to do, or how they are going to react. It is very stressful. Though this is not exactly what a self defense situation is like, it has many similarities. Yes, many techniques have been illuminated for safety purposes; but you are still using many that are used such as kicking, punching, and blocking. This platform gives you an opportunity to try your skills in a stressful environment that is somewhat close to a real battle. It is the mind that helps a student win battles. Without it, the physical skills will only take them so far. Competition gives the student the ability to practice over and over the mental aspects that are required to defend one’s self. A student needs this mental training on a regular basis.

This mental training that a student gets from martial art competition is not the same as what a student gets from competing in baseball, football, soccer, or other such games. There is a big difference between playing a game and defending yourself from someone who is trying to hit you.

So what about the other negative things that some instructors say about competitions? Isn’t this the way the world is anyway? Our students need to learn techniques to deal with these types of people and situations in a “mock world” competition. Then they will have the skills that are needed to be successful when they enter the “real world” competition. Is this a great simile or what?

Look, forget about the winning or losing. Those things take care of themselves over the long haul. It is the mental training that is important. A student is only partially training for self defense if they never compete. In addition to better being able to defend one’s self, competitions help motivate the student to train harder in class. Without it, students tend to just go through the motions at times. You wouldn’t go to the driving range without ever playing the game of golf. You wouldn’t go to the batting range and never play the game of baseball. So why would you just train at the school without testing your skill and seeing how your mind is going to react. Anyway, I hope this answers some questions you may have about the importance of competitions.

Anyway, the blog saga will continue. Signing off …

Ray Hughes

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I want to talk to you about the formation of “the booster club”. This phrase is part of the group of words and phrases that strike fear in the hearts of students and parents, but mostly with the staff. Terrorizing words and phrases such as newsletters, fundraisers, and focus group meetings. But as we teach in the martial arts world, one must face one’s fears. So after many hours of counseling, I have decided to face this fear.

The reason why I am facing this horrific fear is the fact that this school needs it. In the past I have tried to work around this fear instead of facing it straight on. And of course, I failed. Things did not get accomplished that were vital to the school. So what is the purpose of this booster club? The purpose is to help with the financial support for those student athletes that want to take their competition to a national or international level, to help get our black belts and students nationally certified in judging and coaching to help level the playing field for those students that are competing, and to help those students that may need some financial assistance with tuition or other related costs. Though we don’t have a lot of students that need this support, we still have that occasional single mom or family that needs help.

The booster club will be set up with a separate bank account to handle these funds. I have appointed two adult students that are extremely professional and ethical to be the signees on this account. Tyler or I will not be signees. All funds will be separate from the school and will be used strictly for the above purposes.

We will generate funds several different ways. First, we will have several events throughout the year strictly for the purpose to raise funds for the club. Second, I am going to start charging a spectator fee of $3.00 per spectator for our in-house karate tournaments. Third, we will start having random social events at local restaurants that will give a percentage back to the booster club. I figure we may as well have fun raising funds. In addition, I occasionally get offers from people that want to help students that need financial help. In the past I have not taken these funds because I did not have the structure or system to utilize them correctly. Now I can. So if you have money lying around with no particular purpose, now you know what you can use those funds for.

So as we kick this off, if anyone would like to help with the booster club organization or the events please get back to Tyler or me. If you have a suggestion for fundraising ideas let us know. One thing I will not do is burden our student base with fundraising events for the sake of raising money. I hate when I feel like I am getting hammered with charity or fundraising events, so I will not do that.

The blog drama will continue. Signing off

Ray Hughes

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I really like this blogging stuff. It gives me an opportunity to explain various thoughts and decisions that revolve around how things are handled at the center. A question came up the other day regarding boys grappling with girls. I just happened to be by the phone during class time when I received a call from a parent that had a concern for another parent. As you know we have increased the grappling portion of our program to be part of our weekly training. This in itself has increased an existing problem, trying to do more in less time. But that’s a blog for another time. While grappling, the students are, at times, in compromising positions on the floor. This parent mentioned that during the previous week we had a boy and girl grapple together and that the girl’s mom looked very uncomfortable watching. The parent, who was very gracious and polite, was wondering if it was a good idea having the boys and girls grapple together. This is an example of the many types of situations I face operating a martial art school. One problem is knowing what is acceptable in today’s world. As I get older, which I am not very happy with, I sometimes can’t tell. A good example is the words we use. When we are talking about rear- ends, I like using the word rear-end, not butt. I find this word offensive. But that word seems to be acceptable in today’s culture. I don’t want to become an old fuddy-duddy like my old sensei (teacher). [Sensei, I’m just kidding of course.]

So, is it acceptable for boys and girls to grapple together in a martial arts class? It is, but to be honest, it’s a little uncomfortable for me. So I try to have the boys and girls train separately. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out that way all the time. Sometimes we have odd numbers. So rather than having two kids, a boy and a girl, stand around watching, I’ll have them work together. This is a martial arts class. My job is to teach these students self-defense. In this area there is probably more concern for the girls than for the boys. Girls are more likely to get attacked by boys than by girls. What better way to train a girl to defend herself than to train with boys. If a girl is squeamish about being touched by a boy, that needs to be addressed. That could cause a girl a problem in a real self defense situation. I also understand that it may be uncomfortable for the boys grappling with the girls. I clearly remember what I thought of girls as a kid. I was terrorized of them. Maybe training like this would have helped in that area. Anyway, this is an innocent situation. If we act otherwise, then we create a problem.

So what is the answer to this dilemma? First, I need to explain the situation with all its different viewpoints and thoughts to the students and the parents (this blog). Next, leave it up to the student or parent on how they would want it handled for themselves or their child. Last, it should be dealt with it on a case by case basis. So parents, if you have a problem with your child grappling with the other gender, let me know. It’s not a problem.

In closing, if you have a thought or question on this or any other topic, send it to me at rhughes@smacus.com. Until then, the blog saga will continue.

Signing off,

Ray Hughes

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Oh my God, my first blog entree. Where have my martial art traditions gone?  But that is a blog topic for another day.  The future entrees of this blog will cover martial art thoughts, protocols, history, Wado Kai and Wado Ryu issues, martial art politics, misconceptions, teaching techniques that I use, and other ideas that are peculiar to the martial arts.  I will also answer questions from students, parents, and friends of the center.  This blog will not be about little Timmy getting his blue belt. Though that is a very important situation, those items and topics will be placed in another section of the web site.  So please don’t hesitate to send questions or inquires that you would like to get my input on to rhughes@smacus.com.

I am excited about doing this blog.  A day does not go by without something strange and unique happening.  So there will be many martial art “things” to write about. I have been asked on numerous occasions to put these situations, thoughts, and concepts into a book.  Having tried it, I found it difficult thinking of these unique situations and topics off the top of my head.  So writing about them as they occur may allow me to accomplish that task someday.

This blog originally started off as the PRIVATE LESSON PAYMENT PROTOCOL.  But before I could talk about that topic, I had to lay out ground work on how money is supposed to be handled in the traditional martial art school. While doing that, it became obvious I needed to change the topic. Handling money in the traditional martial arts has its own unique protocol.  It is quite different from other activities such as dance, gymnastics, and nontraditional martial art schools. A traditional martial arts school is not only a school whose unbroken lineage goes back to its original creation, but also in the way it conducts itself.  I will discuss what a traditional school is in another blog.  In the traditional martial arts field, money is considered evil, though the necessity is understood.   Money is viewed, like many religions, somethingthat has a tendency to corrupt or cause one to lose one’s way. This creates a conflict in the martial art teacher.   A legitimate traditional martial art teacher does not teach for money, but understands its importance.  To hand money directly to an instructor causes that instructor embarrassment.  This conflict is created because first, the instructor is embarrassed, and secondly, the instructor is put into a situation where if he objects to directly receiving the funds, he may create embarrassment or awkwardness in the person giving the money.  In the martial arts, it is considered bad manners to cause any embarrassment or awkwardness in anyone at anytime. So the internal conflict starts.  If the instructor takes the money, he goes against a principle he believes in.  If he objects, the other person is embarrassed and that’s considered bad manners. What I have done in the past to eliminate or minimize this conflict was to have other people handle the money while trying to inform my students and parents of this protocol.  That was easy when my school was small. When situations occurred where someone that did not know this protocol tried to hand me money directly, I would say simply, in a matter of fact way, to put it on the desk.  Many of you may have seen me handle situations this way when someone wanted to hand me money for a soft drink, belt promotion fee, or something else.  Some have asked why I don’t put this in our tuition pamphlet.  I have always replied that I felt this was too much information too soon.  One needs to be involved in the martial arts for a period of time to understand this philosophy.

An example of this philosophy is when I have a guest instructor come to my school to teach a seminar.  Monetary issues are never discussed.  It is my responsibility to find out what I should be paying.  There are ways of finding this out without discussing it with the instructor. When I make the payment, I either send the money to the appropriate place or I put it in an envelope and discretely place it in his jacket or briefcase.  Again, it is never discussed.

So how should monetary issues be handled in the traditional martial art school?  Rarely should money directly pass from student or parent to instructor.  First, procedures should be put in place so students or parents do not have to pay the instructor directly. In my school I have hired a staff to handle the money issues of the school.  There are times I have to get involved in money matters with students or parents, but I keep it to a minimum because it makes me feel uncomfortable.   Secondly, students and parents should be educated about this protocol so they know what to do. This is where I have not done a very good job.  As stated before, I feel students and parents need to be in the program a while before this philosophy is brought up. With so many classes, students and parents with different lengths of exposure to the arts, and not a lot of time to discuss such issues, it never gets done.  So far I have not come up with a system to accomplish this.  There are also monetary situations that do not involve the school or me.   One example is funds that are paid to an instructor from a student or parent for private lessons. The way this should be handled is for the student or parent to put the funds in an envelope with the instructors name on it and placed on the front desk or creatively giving it in a discrete way.  The money situation should never really be discussed.  Are there exceptions, sure, the world is not black and white. Making something more complicated than it needs to be is not a martial art way of handling things either.  A martial art student, parent, and instructor should always try to do the right thing at the right time within a rational and reasonable way. This is always the dilemma in the martial arts.

In closing, I have done a good job in some areas with dealing with this protocol and a poor job in others. Please don’t get mad at my instructors for not advising you of this protocol.  It is my responsibility, not theirs.  It would actually be bad manners on their part to bring it up (another blog topic to be discussed).  Maybe this blog will help with solving this problem.  Anyway, the blog saga will continue.

Signing off,

Ray Hughes

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