Sensei Ray's Blog

Sorry for the long break since the last blog entry.  My writing time, above what is required to run this business, has largely been taken up by the “Wado” newsletter and other large organizational projects.  In addition to this, I don’t like writing for the sake of writing.  My philosophy is to write and teach about real events in real time.  Not about theoretical situations.  Thankfully the school has been running smoothly and no issues have popped up that need to be addressed.

I received a wonderful letter the other day from one of our parents regarding their child’s development (see below).  It was quite moving.  As I was reading, it struck me that some of our parents may not realize we work with many children with various challenges.  These challenges include ADD, ADHD, autism and a variety of other learning struggles.  They may not realize when they observe an outburst from a child that there is more going on than meets the eye. They may even come to the wrong conclusion.

Martial art training greatly benefits the students who have these struggles.  Unfortunately not all schools want to work with these kids. They do not want to put in the extra effort and simply do not have the passion.

We however embrace these students.  The satisfaction we get at seeing these kids develop is quite amazing and rewarding.  We are proud, honored, and humbled to have the opportunity to work with these kids.

I hope you enjoy the following letter and if you know someone that is dealing with a struggle, have them contact me.  It would be an honor to talk to them.

Ray

Our journey with Autism began when Michael was diagnosed at 18 months old. At this time, he communicated by screaming, rocking, and pulling you to the item he wanted. This was also met with emotional outbursts and crying. He has since received intense therapy in speech, OT, development, vision, and music.

In addition to the daily therapies, Michael has participated in karate since the age of 4 and ½ following his big brother’s footsteps. At this time he was speaking in one to two word phrases and used pictures to communicate with Sensei Tyler. Michael was welcomed with open arms to this accepting, inspiring school. Sensei Tyler has been amazing with him and we were immediately met with acceptance without judgment during Michael’s sometimes frequent “outbursts.” Michael has not always been able to participate in group activities. With his Autism, he has struggled with hypersensitivities to light, noise, smells and a multitude of distractions. Because of these hypersensitivities, Michael will become “stressed” and may cry and become emotional. With Tyler’s unwavering guidance and gentleness and Sensei Ray’s humor and determination, Michael has progressed in his karate studies.

I have always believed that karate is a form of therapy for Michael in a multitude of facets. Michael has “low tone” in his muscles due to his Autism. Karate has strengthened him in those areas and improved his balance and coordination. Karate requires focus, memory and self-discipline. This has not only improved Michael’s muscle core but his “mental core.” The brain is a muscle—karate strengthens muscles throughout your body and requires intense mind focus while at the same time being “relaxed” in the katas.  Having Michael study karate twice a week since he was 4 and ½, has been instrumental in his social, physical, inter-personal development. It has given him self confidence and a sense of pride in his accomplishments. The patience of the karate instructors, with guidance of Sensei Ray and Sensei Tyler has been invaluable in Michael’s physical and emotional development.

You know the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.” Scottsdale Martial Arts is a major part of our village and is instrumental in Michael’s success. Michael is mainstreamed at Copper Ridge in 3^rd grade with assistance of a Para-professional in the classroom. He not only loves karate but loves to sing and dance.

Words cannot describe how I feel about Sensei Ray and Sensei Tyler as well as the rest of the staff at Scottsdale Martial Arts. The school has been part of our lives for over 5 years and we consider it family. We feel so blessed that we have found acceptance and not judgment when we walk through the school doors every week.

How do you say thank you to people who have helped mold, shape and were instrumental in the physical and mental development of your son? How do you say you appreciate the kind and gentle, fun-loving manner that the school instructs your sons and teaches daily life lessons in addition to karate?  Thank you seems so trivial when someone has given freely the gift of acceptance and provided a “priceless” contribution to your son’s life.

Words cannot describe what is in my heart but know by looking and talking to Michael that you are/were a part of him learning to speak, have social interaction with peers as well as a teacher, and blossom to the fun-loving, amazing child that he is today!

Paula Henry

(You are welcomed to contact her at prhenry@cox.net and ask any questions you may have)

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One of the purposes of this blog is to help clarify areas of misunderstanding.  The following is a great example of this purpose.

I received an e-mail the other day from a parent that wasn’t too happy with me.  He strongly disagreed with my policy of having the teens clean the change rooms after the teen/adult classes.  I was actually surprised by the e-mail because this family has been in my program for many years.  I thought they would have understood martial art philosophy in these matters.  His argument was as follows:

a. His son is a paying student and considers it unacceptable to have paying students help with cleaning the change rooms.

b. It creates an inconvenience for both the student and the parent.

c. The school is taking on an enormous liability risk. If a student is injured or picks up any infection as a result of these tasks the ramifications are huge.

Though I disagree with this argument, I appreciate this conflict of philosophies.  It allows me an opportunity to express my philosophy and the philosophy of the martial arts while giving options to those who disagree with me.

The martial arts are quite unique from other entities such as dance, gymnastics, or other businesses where a “service” is provided to its “clients”.  In the martial arts we consider ourselves a family, not a service providing a product.  The fees are considered funds that help pay for the facility and martial arts knowledge, not to give participants entitlement.   The school (dojo) is considered our house and our home.  As a family it is our responsibility to work together to help keep it clean.  Not to hire others to do it for us.  In the martial arts it is considered our duty to clean our own house. This philosophy has been in the martial arts since its inception.  There is learning and discipline that come from cleaning our school.  The cleaning of the school also develops the philosophy of being of service to others in our family and that of our guests.  It is the same philosophy that many of us have at our own private homes.

The teachings of the school go far beyond self defense.  Philosophies are taught that help us work at improving ourselves as human beings.  These philosophies and techniques show us how to control our emotions, suppress our egos, develop humility, move beyond the feeling of entitlement, give back to mankind, and so on and so forth.  It is a lifelong endeavor.  Believe it or not, cleaning the change rooms is a part of it.  All of us adult martial art students, including myself, clean the dojo and the change rooms on a daily basis.  I have the teens clean because they need to understand service, learn to take pride in the tasks that they do, and be a contributing part of the family.  Nothing is asked of them that we don’t do ourselves.   The teenage years are critical in these areas of understanding.  I expect them to do these tasks at their home and would be very disappointed if they didn’t.

As far as getting hurt or injured while helping clean the dojo, an injury can happen anytime and anywhere.  Where do you draw the line?  I guess maybe I am opening myself up to law suits. I hope the world hasn’t come to this.

I have always considered the infection issue.  We have taken steps to help in this area by providing gloves to be used in the change rooms.  My conclusion is that if someone is going to get an infection by cleaning, we have bigger problems.  That means someone could get an infection just by going into the change rooms.  To take this issue a step further, people could get infections simply by training on the same floor with other people.  This is a problem of all athletic sports where people train in close proximity to others.  We work hard at the dojo to minimize such problems. The point is where do you draw the line? It is a difficult dilemma.

I don’t know what to say about inconveniences that may come from this policy.  These tasks that the teens do are very small.  There is generally a half a dozen teens or more that help out after each class.  Each teen does a simple task such as wiping down the counter, cleaning the mirrors, cleaning a toilet, and so on.  Each task doesn’t take more than a couple of minutes.  If it takes longer, then the teen is socializing.  I don’t know if that is a bad problem unless it is making a parent wait, which of course would be bad manners.

During my 35 years in the martial arts this is the first direct complaint I have received on this topic.  I did hear something indirectly once.  Parents that I have talked to say they understand and agree with this policy, they actually encourage it.  However, I am not naive enough to think that every parent agrees with me on every policy and philosophy.  If you are a parent that disagrees with me, just send a polite e-mail to me and let me know.  In this case, your teen will not be required to help with the change rooms.  Maybe the teen can volunteer to clean somewhere else in the school.  I will leave it up to the parent.

Again, this is a good conflict.  There are hundreds of protocols that are inherent in the martial arts, too many to write down.  Most are simply understood.  Without these occasional disagreements and misunderstandings, many parents and students would not even be aware of some of these philosophies.  Even worse, many would not completely understand the intent and purpose of some of these martial art policies.  So please don’t hesitate to send in any questions, thoughts or concerns you may have on any matter.  We will all benefit from the explanations that address them.

The blog saga continues…….

Ray Hughes

• 15 Comments

The Scottsdale Martial Arts Center and the Arizona Wado Karate and Martial Arts Center (my Sensei’s school) has had boys and girls go through its doors for over 3 1/2 decades.  Sensei Marlon Moore and I have been able to see firsthand the benefits that karate training has had on our young students.  Most of these are obvious; focus, confidence, manners, self reliance, self esteem, and so on.  However, some are not and were never expected.

There were a couple of benefits that I didn’t notice right away, matter of fact, I didn’t see them for nearly twenty years.  One of these unexpected benefits was boys developing a significantly higher level of gender respect for the girls.  The other was girls developing a unique and different type of confidence within them that is different than the confidence we generally talk about regarding students.

One of the first things I noticed as a teacher was that girls were generally better than boys at karate.  We have all known for quite some time that girls were more mature than boys at young ages.  Even as a kid I recognized that.  I remember the girls didn’t seem as hyper, they had better writing skills, and they seem to understand things that we boys didn’t.  As a teacher, I see these same traits.  The girls sit and do a better job listening, pay better attention to the small details, and they are generally better athletes.

If the boys had not trained with the girls, they would not have seen for themselves that the girls were better athletes.  They would have grown up like many men thinking the girls were on a weaker athlete level than themselves.   But when the boys start at a young age (preferably 4 to 6 years of age) they clearly see that the girls are better.  I am not saying they buy into this right away.  They first go through the denial stage, then the anger and disappointed stage, but then move on to acceptance.  It is actually quite humorous to observe.  This makes a psychological impact that affects them for the rest of their lives.  As they grow up together and the boy’s body mass starts to outgain the girls, they look at the girls differently.  Instead of looking at them as weaker athletes, they look at them as smaller athletes.  There is a psychological difference between the two.  It is hard for me to put into words. This simple difference in perception develops a higher gender respect in these young men.

As far as the girls go, the same thing is happening but in reverse.  They see firsthand as young girls that they are better athletes than the boys.  By seeing this and growing up with this knowledge, it greatly empowers them as they become young women.  When the mass of the boys start to overcome them, they don’t look at themselves as a physically weaker gender; they look at themselves simply as smaller.  Just as a smaller man looks at himself compared to a bigger man.  One is a view of weakness and the other is an understanding that there is a difference in size and other strategies must be used to compensate it.

It is amazing how these subtle differences in one’s perception develop a unique young adult.  It is quite fascinating.

In addition to these unexpected benefits, the boys and girls also learn an unexpected skill that will help them with their future parenting skills.  As these kids move up the ranks of karate, they are required to work with younger kids.  It is a requirement for black belt. They start teaching these younger kids forms and other martial art skills.  To do this successfully they must develop skills, which we teach them, that help them to motivate these younger children and to lead them in a positive way.  The obvious benefit of teaching young kids is that it develops leadership skills.  The unexpected benefit is they learn skills working with children that will help them when they have children of their own.  I have actually had parents, students of mine when they were kids, say just this.

In closing, I want to say that I am talking in generalities, and that the differences vary from one individual to the next.  However, after teaching for over thirty years and seeing young children grow into young adults many times over, these unexpected benefits actually do occur.

The blog saga continues……. Signing off

Ray Hughes

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I was asked the other day by one of the new parents “what is this Wado newsletter?” they were receiving by e-mail.  It never occurred to me that some of the student base would not understand the content or the purpose of the newsletter.  I just assumed everyone knew everything about the dojo (school) the minute they walked through the doors.  What do they say about “assume”? As…… anyway you get the point.  So I will explain now what I should have explained before I started sending out the newsletter.

Let me start off by explaining what Wado is to you who are new members in our Arizona schools.  Wado is the name of the karate style that we teach here at the Scottsdale Martial Arts Center, Inc. and the Arizona Wado and Budo Academy.  Wado is to karate as Burger King is to hamburgers.  Karate systems are pretty much the same but taught with slight variances and emphasis. These differences are what create the different styles.  Just like hamburgers are pretty much the same, but are made slightly different at each hamburger company.  Then within each style there are members that interpret their style information differently and have separated themselves into subgroups.  So in the newsletter you will see it is addressed to all the Wado subgroups; Wado Kai (which is what we teach here at our Arizona centers), Wado Ryu, WIKF, and the independent Wado groups.

Up to this time there hasn’t been a central location for Wado information regarding events, literature, school directories, or anything else.  After getting involved with the USA-NKF Wado technical committee (the national sport competition organization affiliated with the United States Olympic Committee) there became a need to communicate with the Wado world.  So with the need for better communication in the Wado world, the need for a central location of Wado information, and my personal desire to give something back to the art, I decided to take on this enormous undertaking and start off with a monthly newsletter.  This newsletter is the first step of many that will be necessary to accomplish this task.

Though the intent of the newsletter is to inform Wado enthusiasts, both instructor and student, of Wado events that are happening in the United States and abroad, the articles that I write are primarily directed to the Instructor.  You may find it interesting the way I communicate with instructors.  It will also give you some insight into the way I think and what I would like to see happen in the world of Wado.

I initially was not planning on sending the newsletter to our student base, at least not for awhile.  But after I had showed the newsletter to some of my black belts to get their opinions, they highly suggested I need to send it out to the rest of the student base.  That is probably why I didn’t have the fore thought in letting you know what this was all about.

What started with a handful of addresses has grown to close to 600 instructors.  I receive e-mails almost daily from instructors from around the world. Some I can’t read because they are in foreign languages. Almost all are very supportive of the newsletter.  Little do they know they have not seen anything yet.

My goal is to start a website next year that will have all the Wado information a student and instructor may want; history, videos, editorials, school directory, and a calendar of events.  Anyway, “It is a dream I have”.  (What movie does that line come from? You may be able to go up in rank if you can figure it out)

So I hope you enjoy the newsletter.  If it doesn’t interest you, please don’t opt out.  This would cause you to get opted out of all the school information we e-mail to you as well. Then on the other hand, maybe that is want you want.  I hope not, it would hurt our feelings and that would be bad manners.

Signing off

Ray Hughes

• 12 Comments

I was asked this question the other day by a parent who was checking out the school.  I was caught off guard because I had never been asked that questioned before and always felt that the meaning was understood.  I gave her a quick explanation and went on with the dojo presentation.  However, later when I thought about it a little more, I thought maybe I need to explain the meaning behind this great slogan.  Possibly individuals are thinking that people killed and slaughtered each other in ancient times and we are teaching these principles in a modern way.  This could not be farther from the truth. The meaning of this slogan is about universal truths the ancient warriors believed in and that are being passed on in a modern way.  These principles are from the ancient warriors who faced death on a daily basis. They believed that in addition to being able to defend oneself, one must also have a certain outlook on life.  It is important to understand that you look at life differently if there is a real possibility of dying the next day.  It is different than when we think we may die tomorrow in a car crash versus carrying a sword into battle. I have read many books on what the samurai thought during those times, many written by the samurai themselves.  It is fascinating reading.  The points they bring up are universal truths that we forget about while struggling with life.

The slogan contains two concepts.  First concept is of course revolves around learning to defend yourself and the training that goes with it. The second concept revolves around having the right mindset and philosophy dealing with life.

The training in ancient times was brutal. It had to be, your life depended on it.  The training included all areas of the martial arts; grappling, striking, and weaponry.  It was daily and for many hours.  Many of the techniques and strategies revolved around the type of battles they were engaged in, weapons that were used, and armor that they wore.

The training today is different.  We are not soldiers going into battle to do hand to hand combat.  Since most martial arts students train two to three times a week for an hour at a time, the training has become specialized.  Most students do arts that specialize in grappling, striking, weaponry, or a modification of the three.  The training has been toned down for safety reasons and to minimize the possibility of law suits that are so prevalent in our modern society.  In addition, many of the techniques and strategies have been change for the situations one might face today.

As mentioned above, the mind set and philosophies of the ancient warriors were borne from a state of pending death.  Though we can’t completely appreciate that state of mind, we can understand the universal truths that come out of it. When an individual is near death, important issues come to light. These phenomena have been written about in all cultures and throughout the ages. The religions of the world include these universal truths.

It is easy to forget these truths while we struggle with life.  As life gets faster and more complicated, we forget about the simple things that make us happy.  A good martial arts school will remind its students of these simple concepts on a regular basis.

Below are just a few of these universal truths.  As you read them, you know where they are going.  If we are not reminded of these on a daily basis, we fall into the battle of life and loose contact with the real purpose of life. (It is here of course I would get the question of what is the real purpose of life; but that is for another blog.)

“Honor”, respect yourself and others.

“Enjoy today”, it could be your last one. Enjoy the people around you. The problems are not that bad.

“Your family comes first”.

“Keep it simple”. Our brain sometimes is our greatest enemy.

“Respect the elderly”.

“Try to be a better person today than yesterday”.

“Learn from the past but don’t regret it”.

“Help the young ones”.

“Have good manners”.

“Pick your battles”.

“Take pride in everything that you do”.

“Work hard”.

“Stay focused”

“Stop and smell the roses”.

“Great things come from bad situations”.

“Step out of your comfort zone”.

“Life isn’t fair”.

“Don’t take yourself too seriously”.

“Your parents actually do know something”. This one is hard to believe, but it is actually true.

“Understand and accept the reality of life”. This is an important one.  Life is supposed to be difficult. It is probably designed that way and that is how we learn as human beings.  If this is understood, life makes sense and is easier to handle, which in turn makes it easier to enjoy.  Life has its ups and downs, good and bad.  It is just the way it is.  Enjoy the process.

As you can see I could go on forever.  I believe in these principles and try to live by them on a daily basis, though I fail with some of them from time to time.  I want the young ones to know them, tweak them if they need to, and make them their own.  It will make their lives more enjoyable.  Which is the point anyway, don’t you think?

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The Scottsdale Martial Arts Center, Inc. is a traditional arts facility.  The karate program and other arts that operate out of this facility are all traditional arts.   The question is what is a traditional program?  That is the million dollar question.  Even among traditional martial art school owners there is debate.  I am sure this discussion and debate has been going on since caveman days. Which caveman was more traditional than the other?  To make matters even worse, when traditional school owners discuss this topic, then the question becomes who is more traditional.  It’s sometimes quite unbelievable.  So I will give you my understanding of what a traditional school is.

A traditional school needs to have two components; one, a linage back to the old times (which in itself is very subjective) and second, a basic protocol on the way it handles itself.  Some martial art schools today say they have taken the best parts of all schools and combined it into a super system.  They market themselves as contemporary schools that teach only the best “moves” while eliminating what seems to be unimportant training.  Unfortunately these nontraditional schools don’t understand that there is a theme that runs through the traditional school that goes back in time when these techniques were necessary to survive.  Training systems were developed based on success, or lack of “death”, to hone the best successful skills for survival.  There are important reasons for those seemingly unimportant and boring drills that the traditional school uses.  But this in itself is not enough to be a traditional school.  I see schools with great lineage that have lost their way.  So a traditional school must also conduct itself in a certain manner.

What is the conduct of a traditional school?  First, the way money is viewed.  If money has become the primary focus, then the school has lost its way. These nontraditional and contemporary schools use contracts to maximize profits.  They are more concerned with the bottom line than in the real development of its students.  I am not saying they don’t care for their students. They just operate with different priorities.  Of course they would never admit this.  Instead of trying to teach the philosophical discipline of sticking with decisions that you know are in your best interest, they use contracts to motivate student to continue training.  It takes skillful and experienced instructors with passion to accomplish such a tough task of teaching sound philosophy as compared with the threat of breaking a contract.  In addition, less experienced and passionate instructors naturally gravitate to entertainment as a teaching tool. This brings me to the second point, teaching tactics.  Nontraditional schools teach with entertainment and not with discipline.   There are two reasons for this.  One, many of the instructors at nontraditional schools lack experience teaching discipline and secondly do not want to deal with the uncomfortable situations that come from teaching discipline. They do not want to risk losing a student.   It is easier to entertain with programs that give rapid rewards and allow students to do what they want than to teach them about the hard realities of life.

So these schools motivate their students with fast rank advancement.  This keeps the student happy and the school owner does not have to deal with the uncomfortable situation of telling a student (and possibly the parent) he or she is not ready for the next rank.  You can now see why there are six year old black belts walking around at these schools.  In addition to rapid rank advancement, they allow their students to wear different colored uniforms, make up their own forms, do their forms to music, so on and so forth.  These schools succumb to the emotional wants of a human being.  Discipline is not taught.  This is not the situation of a traditional school.  Discipline is the focus of the school.  How can someone defend themselves without it?  How can a person deal with the real world without it?  The ability to teach discipline to a student, especially a child, requires a lot of expertise and experience.  It takes decades to learn how to read a student, to know what words to use and how to deliver them in a manner that motivates the student to do something that they generally don’t want to do.  In addition to having experience teaching discipline, an instructor needs experience and courage working with the uncomfortable situations that arise while developing discipline in students.  Such as telling a student they are not ready for the next belt promotion test or working with a parent who may think you are a little tough on their child. Traditional schools teach students how to deal with setbacks and how to deal with the ups and downs of life. They understand the world is unjust but develop the fortitude to overcome it. This takes time and hard work along with disappointment.  It cannot be accomplished with entertaining systems of training.  This is not to say there are no entertaining situations in a traditional school.  I am just saying that it is not the way to teach discipline.

Finally there comes a sense of accomplishment when training the ways of the old ones.  A respect is developed with this understanding of the old ways.  This is very hard to describe, but it is real.  Rank is based on time and age.  Nothing in life is learned in a short period of time except a false sense of reality.  If standards are high and techniques are difficult, it will take time and effort.  In a traditional school, it takes a lot of time to reach high rank. The student is taught skills and philosophy to help with developing the ability to work hard and long to reach their goals. This education not only helps with becoming an excellent martial artist but also enhances the skills of the practitioner to be successful in life.  Life is not easy or fair.  Students need real skills not fictitious ones.

In closing, not all traditional schools are good, but I have not seen a contemporary school that has had long term success.  We have been operating in Scottsdale for nearly 25 years. We are the oldest martial art school in Scottsdale, don’t require contracts, and we have no 6 year old black belts walking around. The traditional way works.

The blog saga continues. Signing off,

Ray Hughes

Scottsdale Martial Arts Center, Inc.

Owner and chief karate instructor

• 1 Comment

This topic is one most Senseis do not want to discuss.  Matter of fact, the old traditional philosophy is it is considered rude and improper to ever question the Sensei.  Many instructors still hold this viewpoint today.  Though I am a traditionalist, this is one area that I break from tradition.  My philosophy is that communication is the secret for success and happiness.  Now this isn’t to say I want every possible nitpicky complaint brought up to me and discussed.  We all know we have to live in this world with a certain amount of tolerance.  However, if there is an important topic that is bothering a student or parent, I want them to get a hold of me and discuss it.

The question you may ask yourself is this big enough of a problem that needs to be discussed with the Sensei and if it is how do I bring it up for discussion?  This is actually an important question.  If sensitive issues are not handled properly, the best outcome may not come to fruition.

First, what is an important topic?  Obviously this varies from person to person.  So let me take you through the thought process I use to determine if I have an issue that needs to be discussed with my Sensei.  Actually, I need to use another person because my Sensei is always right, but if someone else says or does something that causes me to be upset, I quickly go through the following set of questions.   First, could I have misunderstood what was said or have misinterpreted the situation?  I actually answer yes to this question most of the time, so I blow off the issue.  If not, I ask myself if maybe the person misspoke, is having a bad day, or is this a  big enough issue that needs to be dealt with?  Most times it’s not.  In addition to all of these questions, I remind myself of the philosophy I try to live by, “pick your battles”.  This philosophy alone solves many of my concerns on how I should handle situations.  But the number one thing that helps me determine if I should discuss an issue with someone is if it bothers me for several days. If it does, I make arraignments to discuss the issue. I also have a another rule that I try to live by; if something makes me angry, wait three days before saying anything.  I have proven to myself many times over that if I don’t do this, I really blow it.  If I wait, I generally do a good job solving the issue in a positive way.

So if you come to the point where you need to speak to me about a sensitive issue, I ask you to handle it in the following manner.  But, before I go on I must admit that I have a character defect of being defensive about the program.  I hate it, but it’s a fact. I put my heart and soul into this program and I can get a little defensive.  I occasionally have parents act surprised when I mention this.   I say the feeling would probably be the same you would feel if a person came up to you and said you weren’t doing a very good job raising your child.  Most parents nod and say they understand.   So if you have a sensitive issue that needs to be discussed with me, just give me a heads up.  I don’t do well when I am blindsided.  Just inform Tyler of the situation and have him set up a time for us to get together to discuss it. Or you can e-mail me and let me know a little bit about the situation and that you would like to set up an appointment.  When issues are handled this way it comes out 99.9 % great.

Are there areas that are considered inappropriate to ask about?  Yes. Generally anything that revolves around belt rank.  Questioning why your rank or your child’s rank is not high enough is improper. Or if you are questioning your rank or your child’s rank compared to another student’s rank.  You just have to have faith in my judgment.   However, mistakes are made. If you feel there has been a mistake or you’re just confused on a rank situation, e-mail me and let’s discuss it.  Inner piece is very important.

In closing, if an issue has caused you to have that uncomfortable feeling that lasts several days, come and see me.  If I have it with you, I’ll come and see you.  Sound like a deal?

Until the next blog, the saga will continue…….

Ray Hughes

• 2 Comments

I am asked from time to time how I exactly teach discipline to students.  This question is primarily asked about kids, but the system is the same for adults.  I just have to disguise and deliver it differently.  Remember, adults are just big kids.  So the following is one of many techniques that I use to teach discipline to kids (wink, wink).  I could write a book on this topic alone, but I will try to keep it brief and to the point.

Before I start teaching discipline, I need to develop a rapport with the student.   I have found that humor is the best tool for doing this. Of course this needs to come from the heart.   Next, I know I need to pick my battles.   Every child is different, so the battles vary.  This sometimes causes confusion with some parents of the program.  Things do not always appear equal or even.  However, the majority of parents understands what I am doing and completely supports my method.

As this process is developing, I start prepping the student on what is expected.  I keep the expectations low at the beginning so not to overwhelm the student.  I understand that kids learn at different rates and this varies dramatically with age, gender, and mental maturity.  As the student starts moving up the ranks, whether it’s a stripe or even a color belt change, expectations are increased.  Also, the reprimands are increased.  It’s this area of developing discipline that is the secret.  How do you reprimand a student that has fallen short of the expectations?  How do you deliver it so that they receive it in a positive way, empowering them while not demeaning them, do it in a way that they get the point and want to learn from the experience, and understand that these falters are a human development issue and that we all go thru it?  While doing all of this, trying to teach the rest of the students in the class on how to learn from this student’s experience in a non-judgmental way and to apply this knowledge to themselves.

The following is my technique in doing this. I also teach my instructors to use this technique.

I start off by letting the student know of the expectations that will come with the next level.   The student knows that as the expectations go up, the harder I will be on them if they fall short.  I let them know that they may not want to go to the next level because it maybe too difficult for them (a little reverse psychology).   As I am delivering this information to the student, I am doing it with a slight sense of humor.  A universal rule that I learned is that whether you are a kid or not, no one wants to be told anything.  So this information is passed on to them in a matter of fact delivery, not in a threatening or a shoving it down their throat manner.  I do however add a brief seriousness to the discussion to make sure they get the point.  I go on to say that it is up to them to go forward or not, but these are the expectations.  Of course they respond by saying they are tough and can handle it. They have agreed to the terms.  This is where I bring in some philosophy.  I teach them the very important philosophical concept, “be careful of what you wish for”.

Now here comes the fun part.  It’s inevitable that after the student moves to the next level there will be a slip in discipline.  It could be a behavior issue, motivational issue, or an outright wrong.  I jump on it immediately in front of the class.  Depending on the level of the student, my intensity will vary. But whatever the level, it will seem very intense.  While explaining the mistake that was made and expressing my disappointment, the child will probably be in a slight state of shock.   I remind the student that they chose to go to this level and that they understood the consequences.  During this moment of explanation I am covertly watching the student.   I want to make sure I don’t go too far but I want to push the student to the edge.  After I make my point, which is generally pretty quick and I know the student is on the emotional edge, I turn my attention to the other kids in the class.  I tell them that this is what happens at this higher level.  I go on to say that you have to be a strong kid to be this rank, such as this student.  This statement starts the empowering process for the kid that is being disciplined.  I mention to the lower rank kids that they probably could not have handled this and would have probably cried and call 911. Notice that I use humorous wording but my tone is somewhat serious.  Of course the kids say they could have handled it and I reply “yeah right”.   By this time things are pretty light.  While this discussion is going on, the disciplined child’s status is being elevated.   I then turn back to the kid I was disciplining and say though I am not happy with the situation I am however impressed with their strength dealing with this adversity.   This comes from my heart and the kid knows it.  At this time I start talking to the class philosophically that dealing with adversities is an ongoing universal problem.  I give some ideas on dealing with adversities in general and how to handle them when things go wrong.  I let them know that standing tall and dealing with it straight up is so much better than falling down crying and calling 911, such as the strength that this student has demonstrated.  The use of humor allows me to make the point while taking the spot light off of the student that was being disciplined. This also empowers the student.  While I am talking to the class, you can see the disciplined child stand a little taller, chest out a little more and generally feels better about himself.  A negative situation now has become a positive situation for both the kid and the class.  And yet the main issue was not lost.

So what happened in that last scenario?  First,  I called a kid out on a behavior mistake, pointed out the mistake, used the situation to prep the other students in the class about the expectations of their upcoming level,  empowered the kid in front of his or her peer group,  showed I was not happy with the behavior but I respected the kid and  was impressed with the way he handled the adverse condition, and was able to show the whole class on how to work and deal with difficult issues by using a real situation and topic and not a fictitious one. No one learns by theory, they learn by reality.

This process intensifies as they go up the ranks. But the students are always made aware of what is expected at the next level.  This process of developing discipline within a student takes time.  It takes years.  When the student experiences this scenario over and over as they mature in age, they begin to learn to apply the principles of discipline to themselves.  It is these skills that allow the student to successfully deal with the outside world.  In other words, they are shown “how to manage chaos”. This process cannot be shortened. You can see why I have a problem with schools that give black belts to very young kids.  Of course this brings up the topic of what is a black belt, but that is a topic for another blog.

Until the next blog, the saga will continue.

Ray Hughes

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In addition to self defense, the majority of parents put their children into karate to learn what I call life skills; discipline, focus, emotional control, persistence, dedication, leadership skills, communication skills, and so on.  As adults, we know by experience the importance of having these skills when dealing with the real world. These skills are absolutely necessary to be successful in life.  I take this part of my job very seriously.

I have learned during my years of teaching that students learn better when life skills are discussed while experiencing a real situation. Students do not learn well when you talk theoretically about life issues. You have noticed me many times jumping on situations that occur in class and discussing it openly in front of all the students on how to best deal with it.  I give the students ideas on how to possibly avoid or how to deal with these issues.  As a student proceeds from white belt to black belt the student experiences almost every possible emotional situation.  As the student faces these experiences they are coached and given skills that help them deal with them in a positive and productive way.

One of the most important life skills that are taught in karate is learning to deal with fluctuating motivation.  As the child trains in karate they experience the motivational roller coaster. We adults understand the importance of this skill because we deal with it in many areas of our lives on a daily basis. I teach students how to work through motivational highs and lows by first letting them know that these obstacles are coming. I tell them that everyone experiences this problem and must know how to work through it. I give them thoughts and ideas that will help them deal with this upcoming problem.  But at this point, this is just theory to the students.  As I have said before, no one learns by theory, you learn by experiencing. Then as the student starts to experience this situation, I remind them first that they were made aware of this upcoming dilemma and them I give them concepts on how to deal with it. One of the most important skills that we adults have learned and understand is developing the ability to grind through tough times.  A young person has a hard time learning these skills without being coached while they are experiencing these low points of motivation. After the student gets through these periods I review the situation and reinforce the successful strategies.  It takes a student several of these situations to develop the skills to successfully learn the ability to grind through low motivational periods.

So how do you grind through difficult situations? I was originally taught by my parents and coaches that you give it 110% or don’t do it at all. I guessed it worked, but I’m not so sure. I may have quit things in the past because I lost motivation and I didn’t want to give it a 110% at the time, I just don’t remember (old age). The point is I don’t believe in this philosophy.  Routine is more important than giving it a 110% during low motivational times. There are times I am not motivated to go to the gym. Sometimes this lasts many months at a time. If I don’t go at all, I become weak and get out of shape. It becomes almost impossible to get back to training. We adults see this type of situation happen all the time.  I have experimented with this (humor statement). If however I continue to keep going during this low motivational time and just half heartily go through the training, I of course don’t get better  but I also don’t regress much either.  Then when that motivated moment comes I instantly start seeing improvement. I have not learned how to summon that motivated moment on command yet, but when it comes I’m ready. Instead of taking months to get back to where I was before I quite training, which in itself is extremely disheartening, I see instant improvement.

I see this situation play out over and over in the dojo. I have seen students of all ages take breaks with the intent of coming back soon and I have seen students go through low motivational periods with half hearted efforts. The students that take breaks almost never get back. Or if they do, they are so disappointed that everyone in their class has moved ahead of them that they give up and quit. As far as the students that grind through, they are pumped when the motivational point comes back. They are off and flying, hardly missing a beat.

There are two low motivational periods during the year. The first one is the period going into the summer and second, you guessed it, the period going into the year end holidays. The reasons are obvious, their minds are not on martial arts because they are looking forward to the break in the school routine, the weather change affects them, and generally their minds are all over the place. After the summer and holiday break, within a week or two, the kids get refocused and are motivationally locked back into their training.

Here is the Parent’s burden.  What does a parent do when their child starts asking to take a break or even asking to quit during these periods?  Parents know that discipline and dedication are developed by grinding through these low periods. They want their kids to learn that changing directions every time they get bored or loose motivation that this develops a horrible habit and can lead to unsuccessful lives. However, the parent does not want to force their child to do something that they really do not want to do.  This does not teach a child anything.  And to add to this, the grind of dealing with a complaining kid and the effort of getting them to the school also become very difficult. So how does a parent know what to do?

Here are some ideas that may help.  First, recognize the time of the year. This will answer a lot of questions.  Second, how is your kid acting in class?  If they seem emotionally down for several weeks at a time, they need a break.  Don’t worry; I most likely will bring it up to you first. If however they are having fun in class, then they are simply moving through a low motivational period and are just whining on the way to class. Remember, I have been through this a million times over the past three decades.  You may have noticed that my teaching techniques change during these times of the year. I lighten up a bit and do a few more games in class. These times are difficult, so I make it more fun during this time because I know that keeping the student’s routine is the highest priority.  I know the routine is the secret of success.  Missing random classes or taking a short vacation is not a problem for the student.  The key here is keeping their overall routine. Yes their martial arts growth slows down, but when the summer and holiday period is over their skills start instantly growing versus having to take a period of time to get back to where they were before the break.

In conclusion, routine is the secret to success. This is what needs to be taught to the student. The difficult part is being able to tell if your kid is simply going through a temporary low motivational point or has genuinely lost interest in martial arts training. So my suggestion is when you are experiencing this situation is that you come in and ask talk to me.  I will give you my honest opinion.  Some parents might think that I will tell them they should keep their child in for my financial reasons. Trust me; my personal sanity comes before my financial stability. Nothing drives me crazier than having a student there that does not want to be there. Those of you who have known me for any length of time can attest to this.

I hope this information helps in some small way. Please do not hesitate to give input back to me on this or any other matter. rhughes@smacus.com

The saga continues…… signing off.

Ray Hughes

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I am asked this question on a regular basis. Most instructors of all arts believe that students should compete. There are some however who believe they are of little value and talk negatively about them. These instructors will say that because the competitions are held in controlled environments with limitations of lethal techniques that they are nothing like real self-defense. They also say the actual combat itself is nothing like a self defense situation. They go further to add that competition is an ego driven event which goes against the philosophy of the martial arts while being surrounding by people that are egotistical, arrogant, narcissistic, condescending, and generally have lost their way in the martial arts world. Also, in addition to outright bias, there is so much subjectivity in the judging that the real champions don’t always win. So how do I feel about tournament competition? I actually agree with most of what is said by the instructors who are against competition. However, I strongly believe that all students should participate in a few competitions per year. The number one reason that most people enroll themselves or their children in martial arts is to develop the ability to defend themselves. So I take that very seriously. I do everything I can in the class to prepare my students for the possibility that someday they may need to defend themselves in a life and death situation. The one thing I can’t do in a regular class is put them in real self defense situations, only staged ones. I am unable to bring out the stress, anxiety, fear, adrenalin pumping through their system, narrowing of vision, chaos, shortness of breath, fatigue, and other extreme emotions that one experiences in a real self defense situation. The students psychologically know that everything in the class is controlled and there is little or no danger. No matter what I say, I cannot bring these emotions out while we train. Training without experiencing these emotions is weak at best. The closest we get to these emotions in the school are at belt exams. But even these emotions are different than what you experience when someone is trying to hurt or kill you. So the only thing we can offer that gets close to real combat without actually being in combat is tournament competition. The uncertainty in this situation brings out the emotions I mentioned earlier. Even though the student understands that this is somewhat of a controlled situation, they still know there is some physical risk. The student doesn’t know who they are going to meet, what the opponent is going to do, or how they are going to react. It is very stressful. Though this is not exactly what a self defense situation is like, it has many similarities. Yes, many techniques have been illuminated for safety purposes; but you are still using many that are used such as kicking, punching, and blocking. This platform gives you an opportunity to try your skills in a stressful environment that is somewhat close to a real battle. It is the mind that helps a student win battles. Without it, the physical skills will only take them so far. Competition gives the student the ability to practice over and over the mental aspects that are required to defend one’s self. A student needs this mental training on a regular basis.

This mental training that a student gets from martial art competition is not the same as what a student gets from competing in baseball, football, soccer, or other such games. There is a big difference between playing a game and defending yourself from someone who is trying to hit you.

So what about the other negative things that some instructors say about competitions? Isn’t this the way the world is anyway? Our students need to learn techniques to deal with these types of people and situations in a “mock world” competition. Then they will have the skills that are needed to be successful when they enter the “real world” competition. Is this a great simile or what?

Look, forget about the winning or losing. Those things take care of themselves over the long haul. It is the mental training that is important. A student is only partially training for self defense if they never compete. In addition to better being able to defend one’s self, competitions help motivate the student to train harder in class. Without it, students tend to just go through the motions at times. You wouldn’t go to the driving range without ever playing the game of golf. You wouldn’t go to the batting range and never play the game of baseball. So why would you just train at the school without testing your skill and seeing how your mind is going to react. Anyway, I hope this answers some questions you may have about the importance of competitions.

Anyway, the blog saga will continue. Signing off …

Ray Hughes

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